its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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