You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
