I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
