Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
