at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
