There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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