just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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