You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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