He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
