Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
