At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I think im going to throw up on grandma
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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