I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
