1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Randomize
