don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
