Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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