I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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