if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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