Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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