yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize