it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
