Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i used baking grease as lip gloss
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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