Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
