you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
