Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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