Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
