so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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