And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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