you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
PANTIES FOUND
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