that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
