OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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