My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
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I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
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When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize