garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
