I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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