last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
