Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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