i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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