Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize