Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You're like the curious george of whores
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
the gays at disneyland are vicious
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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