i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
