You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize