Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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