she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
