Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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