This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
