i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
