dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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