operation have a gay friend backfired
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
