I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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