i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
It's like God shit irony all over that family
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
