We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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