im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
