i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
