yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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