my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
