I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
