i permit you to call me
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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