So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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