Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize